It is week 6 of EDUC 6357 and I can think of countless times that I have witnessed a time where a child has been silenced or reprimanded as a result of pointing out someone that they saw as different. It is rare that I am just shocked by what some kids will say but there is this one time I was just at a loss for words.
My friend has 2 granddaughters that always seem to say exactly what is on their mind. I can remember once we had planned to have brunch one Saturday after having a mani/pedi with the little princesses when one spilled juice on her clothes. We decided to take a detour to Target to get her something else to put on. We were in the checkout line when my friend youngest granddaughter Regan looked back at the woman standing behind us and proceeds to tell the lady that she must eat a lot because she was fat (insert bulging eyes and dropped mouth) . Then the older sister Mallory says to the lady our momma eats a lot that’s why she is fat. My friend Sandra was paying for her things when she grabbed both girls and placed her hands over their mouths while apologizing to the lady. Once we were out of the store, she took both girls to the side and told them that telling someone that they are fat can be hurtful and that if they can’t say anything nice, they should not say anything at all. Both girls looked at each other as if confused and asked their grandmother how that was not nice when they were telling the truth. Once she explained it to them a little more it seems they understood how that could have been hurtful and very much so disrespectful. My friend Sandra told them that they should always have something nice to say about everyone and they should let people know the nice things they like about them. So now the girls tell just about everyone that they are pretty or just smile.
In a classroom setting presenting children with books or videos can help to build a better understanding of why telling someone they are fat, tall, short or different them themselves to be hurtful. I also think having a child write down how they would feel if someone were to say hurtful things to them would affect them so that they will be less likely to inflict that type of emotion upon someone else and incorporate it with positive attributes or ways to be kind. I honestly do not believe either of the girls meant any harm, but I also think that some of the things that they have heard is interpreted as acceptable or to be normal which made them comfortable to express themselves as they did.
Reference
Photo: https://www.animalrescueprofessionals.org/national-days/say-something-nice-day/
2 comments:
Hi Violanda,
I have definitely heard this one before... and in fact, was once called it by one of my students because "I didn't look like [her] mommy". The child was, of course, not trying to be mean to me in any way; she was merely was making an observation that not only was I different looking from her mom and what she was "used" to seeing, but she actually explained what about me was different, so really she was just using the higher-order level of thinking. However, my co-teacher was appalled and immediately tried to help and told the student to apologize to me. My student had a similar reaction to your friend's granddaughters. She apologized to me, but it wasn't until later when I explained to her in a very similar motion how it can hurt people's feelings to say that and point out size differences. I explained to her to think about when the previous week she had drawn a picture of someone and another peer said that it was ugly because "it didn't look like anything" Since their friend couldn't see the picture like she could, it hurt her feelings, much like how someone feels if you call them fat. Since I was able to relate it back to something she had experienced, she understood more than just a quick "say you're sorry".
-Brittany
A job done the right way for your companion to deal with the circumstance the correct way. In the Anti-Bias Education text the creators clarify that "occasionally a statement of inclination or inconvenience is a passing thing, a short second when a kid needs suitable language to communicate their thoughts (Derman-Sparks and Edwards, p. 35, 2010)". As kids they don't know that specific words or non-verbal communication can be hostile towards an individual that is cripple or appears to be unique. That was extremely sort of the man of honor that disclosed his circumstance to the youngster cordially.
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